


Fading Gold

by nicoyazawow



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: AU, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coffee Shops, Homophobia, M/M, Modern AU, My First Work in This Fandom, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-10-02 15:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10221095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicoyazawow/pseuds/nicoyazawow
Summary: Simply put, this is about Killua's unrequited love towards Gon in a modern setting. Killua has to sort out these feelings. He and Kurapika & Leorio will become better friends in trying to reach a solution for Killua.Gon also does stuff.This summary may increase in detail when I hold a better grasp of what I want to do, as this is my true first fanfiction, and first that will be published here.





	1. 片思い Kataomoi (Unrequited Love)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction that I will be working on. I have written small drabbles before, but this is the actual thing, and I hope I can do it well.The title is a work in progress. I'm completely lost on what to name it. If you happen to be reading this, and happen to have a suggestion please let me know. I hope that you're able to enjoy.

Killua bit his cheek sharply, inciting a metallic taste in his mouth as he stared at Gon, who was waving his arms around, telling some story sitting cross-legged on his bed. Typically Killua would have clung onto every word that his ‘best friend’ spoke, but his gaze was stuck on Gon’s face. A small bandage adorned his cheek from his martial arts training. Killua didn’t really know what went on there, and worried about if Gon was being safe, but every time Gon’s face lit up as he told him about beating a ‘master’ or learning something new, his worries went away.  
  
“Killua, are you listening?” Gon asked, tilting his head in a cute way that almost made Killua blush.   
  
Killua waved his hands in front of him, trying to reassure Gon. “N-no, I’m listening. Just got distracted.”   
  
“Okay!” Gon responded “Did you know that Kurapika knows some fighting moves?” He pushed out a hand to start a full demonstration, laughing.   
  
Gon was always so cheerful, oblivious even. It was times like this where Killua’s attraction to Gon became apparent.   
  
At first, he told himself that the way he had begun to feel was the way that everyone felt for their friends, but as he began to make other friends, he quickly realised that that was not the case. Even hearing from Gon, he didn’t feel the same way. Initially, he thought that as they got closer, Gon would begin to feel the same, but once Killua recognized his feelings, he was crushed.

  
Not many people thought it was okay for guys to like guys, and Gon was probably one of those people. It just seemed natural to Killua to find guys attractive though. Sometimes it was hard to accept that. Surprisingly, the Zoldyck family wasn’t that strict about it. His siblings were all weird in some way, so his parents must have learned to deal with it. They didn’t know about him, but it was painstakingly obvious that his brother Illumi was infatuated with his superior, Hisoka. Milluki was an otaku, only interested in 2D, and Kalluto was exceedingly feminine. Though they struck out Alluka, it wasn’t because of her gender identity. Maybe that’s what happens to your kids when you abuse them, like his parents had. They become weird and different.   
  
All that really mattered was that Gon didn’t hate him for it. He wasn’t really worried about Kurapika or Leorio, because Gon wasn’t an ass who would tell them, and even if he did, they seemed to have a thing for each other, so they obviously wouldn’t care.   
  
Gon yelled “Osu!”, snapping Killua out of his thoughts. As they made eye contact, Gon’s face softened.   
  
“Is there something wrong Killua? You’re zoning out a lot today.” He moved to sit next to Killua on the floor.   
  
This was Killua’s chance to talk to Gon about things. Not about how he liked him, but maybe he could warm him up to the idea a bit so when he confessed he wouldn’t be completely abandoned.   
  
“Well, uh, Gon?” He paused, completely messing himself up. Now Gon would know it wasn’t a hypothetical question. “What would you think if I was gay?”   
  
Killua blinked as he saw Gon bite down on his lip hard. It was a few seconds before Gon said “But you aren’t, right, Killua?”   
  
Killua felt his heart drop. Gon wasn’t going to be mean to him about it, but he didn’t seem to support it.   
  
“That’s irrelevant. Answer my question.” Killua was acting cold in a way he didn’t act towards Gon.   
  
Gon sighed, and seemed to change out of his normal positive demeanor, becoming serious. “At first, I’d be confused. But you’re my best friend Killua. Remember how in our first year of high school people made fun of you for your white hair? It’s the same thing I think. Kurapika talked to me about this. If you… like boys then I’d be okay with it.” Gon sucked in a breath. “A- I talked too much!” he exclaimed, laughing.   
  
“Kurapika? He talked to you-  about this?” was all that Killua could muster at the time.   
  
“Oh! You didn’t know? Kurapika and Leorio have been dating for a while now. Maybe they were too scared to tell y- Shit, I shouldn’t have told you they said not to tell anyone. Shit, shit, shit.” Gon started panicking at the thought of disappointing his friends.   
  
Killua patted Gon on the back, trying to get him to calm down. “It’s okay Gon. I was planning to talk to them anyways.” he lied, though he probably would try to visit them now. “S-so they’re gay?” he asked for confirmation, selfishly ignoring the fact that Gon’s eyes were tearing up.   
  
Gon paused for a second. “Kurapika told me that Leorio’s bisexual.”   
  
Killua nodded. “Gon, I’m sorry for getting serious.” he feigned a laugh “One last question. Do you think I can talk to them tomorrow?”   


Gon shifted his sitting position so that his legs stuck out and rubbed his wet eyes with a fist. “It’s okay Killua. I like it if you tell me what you’re thinking or your problems! You’re my best friend. I want to learn more about you!” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, smiling at his lockscreen background of him, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio when Kurapika had graduated high school. “Want me to call Kurapika right now and ask him?” he asked.  
  
“Sure, just put it on speaker and let me on the line once you guys say hi.” Killua said beginning to get slightly nervous as he watched Gon slide around his finger to input his lockscreen pattern and go into his contacts.   
  
Kurapika answered the call almost immediately after one ring.   
  
“Gon, what is it? School’s over now?”   
  
Gon groaned. “You just graduated last year, Kurapika. Did you already forget when school ends?”   
  
“I might not have been paying attention to the clock. Anyways, why’d you call?”   
  
“Killua said that he wanted to talk to you.” Gon replied, sliding his phone over to Killua, who took it cautiously in his hand and turned off speaker despite Gon’s short-lived protests.   
  
“Gon can you leave for a minute? No offense, I just don’t like people listening to my phone calls.” Killua asked, to which Gon decided not to oppose, and left, shutting his bedroom door.   
  
“Killua?” he heard from the phone.   
  
“Sorry, I was asking Gon to leave.” he laughed, trying to seem more comfortable. “I was- uh, wondering if I could meet you and Leorio tomorrow.”   
  
“Yeah, I’m sure I can get him to come to a coffee shop or something. He’s pretty invested in his studies right now though. Why do you want to see us?”   
  
“Well, uh, sorry if you didn’t want me to know, but Gon told me that you two were dating.” Killua plainly stated, hoping that Kurapika wouldn’t get mad at Gon, who was already feeling pretty guilty about it.   
  
“Oh.” The other line went silent for about 30 seconds before Kurapika spoke again. “It’s not something we want people to know. Gon walked in on us kissing when we all went on that vacation together. I had to have a talk with him about it after. Please though, if you think it’s disgusting, don’t bother us. You can forget it if you can’t handle it”

  
“God! Gon told me about it as if you guys decided to tell him specially or something. I’m not disgusted by it. You can’t recognise that I-?” Killua cut off his question when he realised that Gon could be outside of the room, listening in to what he was saying.   
  
“Wait? Recognise?” Kurapika paused for a few seconds, before he had a realisation. “Killua, are you gay?”   
  
“Well,” Killua froze for a minute. Even though he had come really close to telling Gon, and it was fairly obvious from the question that he had asked, he had never told anyone straight out that he only liked dudes. “Yeah. I really think I am. Kurapika, can you not tell anyone? It’s a weakness I don’t want people to know about, but I thought that maybe I’d found someone that could understand. This is why I wanted to talk to you and Leorio as soon as I found out about you guys.”   
  
“It’s okay Killua. Please don’t think poorly of yourself like that. You can’t change it. Even Leorio mostly likes guys. He still struggles a lot like us too. He would even if he mostly liked girls. And you should-” Kurapika paused “I’m sorry, I get kind of worked up about these kinds of things. It’s just something that I care about a lot. You’ll allow me to tell Leorio about this right? He’ll definitely come if he knows why you want to see us.” Kurapika blabbered quickly, seeming to get excited.   
  
“Of course you can tell Leorio. Would tell him tomorrow by myself anyways. It doesn’t matter much. So, uh,” Killua paused for a bit, trying to think of a place that they could meet that was convenient for all of them, with Leorio and Kurapika in university. “Sorry! I was trying to think of a coffee shop.”   
  
“Thanks for telling me Killua. There’s this coffee shop near the campus of our university called Chimera Koffee. It’s a pretty private  and comfortable place. It has cheap prices and Leorio and I go there all the time. Want to meet there tomorrow at 11?”   
  
“Sounds easy enough to find. Thanks for agreeing to meet me. I’ll see you tomorrow if you don’t want to talk to Gon after this.”   
  
“It’s okay. Tell Gon I wish him well.” Kurapika said softly, hanging up before Killua could process it. 


	2. 時間 Jikan (Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just the journey to the coffee shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was planning to write more but i've had a really rough time since i've written this, so you're just getting what i had written at the same time as the first chapter, so it's short, but ends well for the next chapter that may or may not be coming out soon

Gon’s snoring had kept Killua up all night, apparently. Killua frowned as he told Gon this excuse during breakfast. He only said it because Gon was prodding him. In all honesty, Gon’s snoring actually helped Killua fall asleep sometimes. He already felt infinitely safer when he was offered a place in Gon’s household whenever he wanted, but sometimes he needed a reminder that someone was there, and wouldn’t leave him.

Killua shoved some toast into his mouth before speaking. “I’m going to see Leorio and Kurapika in maybe 15 minutes.” he said in a muffled voice. “I have to go and get ready.” He pushed in his chair and moved towards the stairs.

“Killua wait!” Gon spoke in a not-so indoor voice. 

 

Killua spun back around to look at Gon’s bright eyes. “What is it Gon?”

“Say hi to the couple for me.” he said giggling, causing Killua to smile.

Killua had only taken a few steps up the stairs when he heard Mito yelling at Gon.

It was something about how Mito thought that being friends with two adults in a relationship like that would have a bad influence on Gon. Then Gon saying homosexuality wasn’t contagious. Funny then, that all of Gon’s friends weren’t straight. Killua didn’t think that Mito was super mean; she just wanted to protect Gon. It was hard to hear though. Would Mito make him leave the house if she found out about him?

He shrugged off the negative thoughts and went upstairs, leaving Gon to deal with it on his own.

He pulled on a black turtleneck along with a blue hoodie and some jeans, covering himself up. He shoved his phone in his pocket, and pushed his pajamas into his bag which contained all he needed to stay a few night’s over at Gon’s residence.

Killua grabbed his wallet from Gon’s dresser and walked downstairs, ignoring the argument that was still going on between Mito and Gon.

\-----

A bus ride later, and Killua was close to Chimera Koffee. Killua was only slightly familiar with the area because of his previous visits to the university to visit Kurapika and Leorio with Gon, and for tours. The university was actually quite prestigious, and he had considered going to it before he realised he loved Gon in a more than friends sort of way. It would only separate them. And Killua was a dumbass too. He had no commonsense. He had no social intelligence. There were so many things he hated about himself sometimes. Gon would most likely never get into that university, so there was no point in trying if he was going to fail. He’d just aim low, so he could succeed, and continue to get to spend time with Gon.

He tentatively set off in what he thought was the direction to the coffee shop. At one point he had to ask a chubby man for directions. Luckily, the man knew the coffee shop that he was talking about, but seemed surprised that Killua was asking for it’s location for some reason. 

Soon he reached the shop, which really was out of the way, but still seemed convenient in some strange way.

Looking down at his watch, Killua realised that he was four minutes late. Not that bad, but Killua always prided himself on being timely. He should’ve paid more attention in the morning and allowed for more mistakes and detours on the way here.

After standing outside the door for a few minutes, he finally opened the door, taking in the smell of the coffee and the pastries. He hated the smell of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me ur opinions and stuff


	3. 愛 Ai (Love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short of Gon arguing with Mito

“Aunt Mito, homosexuality isn’t contagious!” Gon, yelled, his face getting red.

“Gon! Do you think that I really care about that part ?” Mito responded, still in an angry voice. “What bothers me isn’t that your friends are gay ! I just don’t want you exposed to relationships. It's too much drama. ”

“Leorio and Kurapika would never do anything rude to me ! They’re good people ! You know that !”

“You never know what people are going to do ! You shouldn’t have to think about any kind of relationship or different sexualities until you’re out of high school !”

Hearing Killua’s footsteps and him eventually leaving, Gon lowered his voice. “That’s not how it works ! A lot of people are in relationships. There’s nothing wrong with them !”

Mito sighed, then was silent for a few moments. “I’m sorry Gon. I just want to keep you safe and protect you.” , she said, reaching in for a hug which Gon accepted. 

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” he said, smiling, and left to his room, thinking about what Killua had asked last night.  
Was Killua asking because of himself? Maybe he was gay? That would explain why he wanted to talk with Kurapika and Leorio. But then, why wouldn’t he just tell Gon. They were best friends. It kinda hurt.

He shrugged it off for the time being, and turned to play a video game that he often played with Killua. It wasn’t as fun in singleplayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating, even though no one was really following it. I wrote the initial chapters in the spurt of inspiration, but I recently reread them, and I think I may like to continue with them. Gon's perspective is somewhat hard for me to write from, so sorry for the extremly short chapter. A new, longer chapter will be up soon (hopefully this weekend !!) which will be in Killua's perspective & what happens in the coffee shop.

**Author's Note:**

> I might update sometimes. I'm completely unopposed to criticism, so if you hate it, let me know (with reasons), and if you like it, also let me know (with reasons). Of course I can't tell you what to do, but I'd love to hear feedback.


End file.
